Let Me Fly Read online

  Let Me Fly

  Book One of the Learning to Let Go Series

  By Hazel St James

  Copyright Hazel St James 2012

  Kindle Edition

  Cover Photo Alersandr Hunta /Shutterstock

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events of locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

  To the light of my life, I know that you always have my back. Even when I get bratty, you seem to know how to keep me from self-destructing.

  To my beautiful children, Bunny and Bubby. Thank you for being good kids and for being the best PA’s anyone could ever ask for.

  To my favorite captain and his wife. Your support is beyond words. I treasure you both.

  To Riane Holt and Rosie Moewe, thank you for taking time out of your lives to work with me. I am so glad to have such wonderful online friends that will support a newbie. You gave me direction and guidance that made my story stronger.

  To Tanya Keetch, The Word Maid. You are so talented. Thanks for keeping my story readable.

  To those that wished to remain unnamed. You didn’t turn away from me. You gave me hope that I could successfully live in both of my worlds. You know who you are. ’Nuff Said.

  To my girls J and R, thank you for bringing me back to life. Friends Forever.

  Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright Page

  Dedication

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Epilogue

  Chapter One

  “Oh hell…” Bryn Lonneman lay twisted on a dusty back road in the middle of Wisconsin. Next to her, a dented motorcycle lay on its side, back wheel spinning. Her blonde hair had come loose from its messy ponytail, sprawling across her face with some loose strands even stuck in her mouth. Moving her jaw back and forth, Bryn could feel gravel crunching in between her teeth. Wiggling her toes in her boots, and then her arms and fingers, she gave silent thanks that her body was responding.

  “Bryn, Bryn, oh God, are you ok?” Dumping his bike as he flew up beside her, Bryn’s best friend Corey was quickly kneeling next to her in the dirt. “Don’t move, baby girl. Where does it hurt?”

  “I’m not hurt,” tears framing her face, “at least not that bad.” Bryn was desperately trying to hold in the sobs that were clawing at her chest.

  “Then why are you crying?” Corey started patting her down, checking all of her limbs to see where the offense was, stopping when he reached her legs. “Oh hell, that’s gonna leave a mark.”

  Bryn lifted her head enough to follow his stare. The right leg of her jeans was ripped and her calf was covered in angry road rash. “Oww,” was all she could mutter, carefully laying her head back down. Waves of pain hit her as the world started to tip on its axis, leaving her feeling dizzy. Realizing that she was seriously hurt, panic engulfed her. It was going to be hell to get Corey to let her drive by herself again, not that the practice was helping. She was no closer to her goal of solo riding a bike than she was three months prior.

  “Why don’t you just stay horizontal while I try and see where else you are damaged?” Patting her down again, she winced when he got to her left cheek. “I think you may have hit your head on the way down, Bryn. You have a shiner starting under your eye.”

  Corey was slowly stroking the flesh under her eye with his thumb. To some people, the gesture could have been sensual, but Bryn knew better. Corey had been her best friend since she was five, and she knew since they were in high school that he was gay, although not very open about it.

  “Damn it! How am I going to hide a black eye? I’m gonna be dead for sure!” Bryn grimaced again from the exertion.

  “Don’t worry about your mother right now, Bryn. Let’s get you fixed up before you start obsessing.”

  “I am not obsessing, damn it! You know as well as I do that once she finds out about my dream of riding a motorcycle to Sturgis with the guys, she is going to do everything in her power to strangle it until it withers and dies. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be out here hiding on this back road trying to learn how to ride your old death machine!”

  Bryn had started working at Double M Harleys in Amulet four months ago, starting as a part-time receptionist and now was there full-time balancing the books, answering phones, selling bikes, anything they needed. Apartments weren’t cheap, so Bryn was still living at home on the farm. She had lied to her mother that she hated motorcycles, and worked there because it was the only job she could get.

  Bryn tried to sit up, but the world started spinning the wrong way again. “Just lay back down and I will call the cavalry to come get us and take you to the emergency room. I think you may have a concussion.” Corey pulled out his cell phone, pacing up and down the dirt road and barking instructions into the phone. He may not be Cro-Magnon per say, but he was still as dominant as any heterosexual Alpha male.

  “Just get the truck and trailer and get your ass down here. I need to get her to the hospital.” Corey kicked at the dirt under him as he snapped his phone shut. “Damn it girl, my brother is fucking pissed. He’s gonna chew your ass.”

  Corey was right; his older brother, Darrin was seriously overprotective of both Bryn and her sister Sara. He was adamant about keeping the little neighbor Lonneman girls out of trouble, especially after their dad passed away. Darrin acted like the girls’ parole officer, rather than the young, handsome local handyman, auto mechanic, welder, electrician, etc.

  “Oh goody. That will make my head feel so much better.” Bryn tried to laugh, but she had to fight the nausea rising up in her stomach. “My head hurts so much I think I might lose my lunch.”

  “No, don’t you dare! You know that I will hurl if I hear you even as much as gag! Just lay still and keep your eyes closed. Darrin will be here in a few minutes.” Corey’s callused hands were gently stroking her right side and Bryn could hear him exhale a few expletives. “I really fucked up this time. I should have kept you on the black top roads. I thought you were doing well enough that we could move on to different terrain.”

  “It’s not your fault, Corey. If you hadn’t brought me here, I would have tried it on my own. I think that there will be more than just blacktop roads on the way to the Dakotas. What if there are detours or road construction?”

  “Why can’t you just ride on the back of my hog again?” Corey cringed as he waited for her reply.

  “You know why damn it! I need to be able to do this myself! I need to be able to control the ride, otherwise I panic.” It was the same old argument, only this time Corey had some new ammunition to throw at Bryn.

  “I realize that baby, but you are going to get yourself killed. That old Kawasaki bike of mine doesn’t have half the power of the rides that you have been drooling over in those magazines in the shop. We have been practicing for months, and this was bound to hap
pen. If you would just…”

  Bryn shot up from the dirt road, holding her head the entire time, jabbing her finger into Corey’s chest. “God damn it Corey, we have been practicing for three months and this is the first time I have been hurt. We still have two more months to go. If you don’t shut your damn mouth and help me, then I will find some other meathead that will. I want to do this for me, not to be someone’s bitch on the back of a bike; you know what this ride means to me.”

  Corey’s hands began rhythmically rubbing up and down Bryn’s arms as he tried to pacify her. “Ok hothead, I know. I know. But I wouldn’t be your best friend if I didn’t try one more time to talk some sense into you. When I came up and saw you sprawled out on the road, I thought the worst. But I do know what this ride means to you.”

  Corey placed a gentle kiss under Bryn’s eye, trying to hold her to his chest. “But I am taking you to the emergency room in Amulet. Hitting your head is nothing to screw with.”

  “Ok,” Bryn leaned on Corey as two vehicles creating a thick cloud of dust to the north approached. She held her head in her hands, trying desperately to remain vertical.

  “Why the fuck did Darrin bring your sister?” Corey ground out as the massive truck, trailer and a small car came into view.

  Bryn’s younger sister, Sara, had been spending a lot of time at Darrin’s shop lately. Bryn suspected that her usually shy sister was too scared to ask Darrin out for dinner, or a movie, or anything. Sara would make excuses to go over to his house, usually making useless trips to the house. It seemed like she would do anything to spend time with him.

  “God damn it, Bryn!” Darrin seethed as he jumped out of the truck. “I don’t see your helmet anywhere and there is a very clear indication on your face that you weren’t wearing it when you dumped the bike. Do you have a death wish?”

  “Glad to see you too, Darrin. Now stop yelling, my head hurts.” Bryn put her hand over her eyes to block out the sun.

  Darrin was Corey’s older brother, carbon copies of each other in some ways — both were tall, fit and incredibly handsome. Then they were exact opposites in other ways — Darrin had thick blonde hair, buzzed short, except for the faintest faux hawk – it was the only concession he had made in his appearance since leaving the Marines. Corey had the same thick, blonde hair, but he left his long on top, with the sides of his head shaved. Darrin was not very much into appearances, making him even more attractive to half the women in the town. Corey did everything in his powers to keep himself well groomed, sporting the latest fashion trends. Night and day would be a great way to describe them.

  Bryn’s sister brought everyone’s attention to her as she made her way over to the three of them, half-screaming at her sister when she saw her injuries. “Are you ok? Do I need to call an ambulance? Should I call Mom?”

  Sara and Bryn had a few similar facial features, but they were almost the opposite in most other features. Bryn had blonde hair, Sara brown. Bryn had a tall frame, but was curvy in all the right places, including a full chest. Sara had a slender frame, a few muscles, but very little curves, including a smaller chest. The two girls were inseparable when younger, but as they entered high school, jealousy prevented them from staying close.

  “No Sara, you don’t need to call Mom. I am fine. Corey is going to take me to the hospital right now to make sure I am ok, and don’t you dare tell Mom. I have enough to deal with right now without her coming down on me like a herd of elephants.”

  Sara tightly crossed her arms over her chest, narrowing her eyes as she answered, “You would deserve it too, you know. I about passed out when Darrin said that he needed to come rescue my levelheaded sister. I thought your car ran out of gas or something. I never would have dreamed that you would be learning to ride a motorcycle and broke your leg!”

  “I didn’t break my leg, it is just scratched. Why were you with Darrin anyway? Aren’t you supposed to be at the farm helping Mom with the farm, since you don’t have a job yet?” Bryn knew that the jab would shut Sara up quickly.

  “I had stopped to drop off the yard trimmer that had broken yesterday at Darrin’s shop and I stayed to make him lunch. He was going to eat one of those god-awful sandwiches you buy out of a vending machine. I couldn’t let him do that,” Sara said with apprehension as she glanced at Darrin. “Anyway, my excuse for not being at the farm right now is a helluva a lot better than you out here in the boonies, riding a stupid motorcycle.” Sara pointed her index finger at her like it was a deadly weapon. “Mom would have a heart attack if she knew what you were out here doing.”

  Sara and her mother shared the same opinion about motorcycles. Their uncle was killed in a motorcycle accident many years ago, when Bryn and Sara were in grade school. There was no way Bryn could forget the torment on everyone’s faces when he died. Her mother had spent hours upon hours sitting in her chair, looking through photo albums, crying over the loss. Her entire family was dead set against motorcycles, and there was nothing going to change their minds.

  So it was unfortunate that when Corey was eighteen years old, he started working for a bike shop in River Falls while he and Bryn went to college. As soon as he had earned enough money, he bought himself a Kawasaki Ninja and was riding it all the time.

  In the process, Corey had taken Bryn along with him on his adventures. Not being brave enough to ride by herself, she always rode behind Corey on his bikes, but they could never ride for very long. Bryn had a horrible habit of freezing up after a few miles passed. Once she actually let go of all that was dragging her down, something inside of her would remind her of the fear of falling and she would panic, seizing herself around Corey’s chest as if crushing him with her arms would make him stop faster.

  “Well Sara, now you know. I want to learn how to ride a bike so that I can save the planet one gallon of gas at a time. The problem is, the bike has to actually be moving in order for me to get from point A to point B.”

  “Oh dear God, do you need money? Is that why you are doing this? I could certainly help you out if you are having money troubles.” Bryn cut her sister off with a curt nod. “You are so gullible, Sara. I happen to enjoy riding motorcycles. Now zip it and please help me to get to the car.”

  Corey grasped Bryn’s elbow and pulled her up the rest of the way, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. “No I will take her, you two would have a cat fight in the middle of the ER and then your mother would know for sure what had happened here today. Sara, would you please help Darrin? There are tie down straps in the back of the truck in the box that he can use to strap the bikes down. Bryn and I will take your car to Amulet to the ER. Darrin can drop you off at the farm on the way home.” Corey was always in control of the situation, which was in stark contrast to how Bryn handled life.

  “No problem. I may have to drop Sara off at the end of the driveway though so that your mother doesn’t see the bikes. You cool with that, kid?” Darrin looked at Sara as she walked away to get the tie down straps.

  “Yeah it’s fine. Just make sure Bryn actually goes in to the ER, Corey. She may just tell everyone that she went to appease us, but never actually makes it in the door. She hates hospitals.”

  Sara stepped onto the rim of the truck tire, hoisting herself up so that she could reach the truck’s toolbox. Turning her verbal claws towards Darrin, she continued, “And stop calling me kid, Darrin. I am no more a kid than you are a male dancer.”

  “You only wish he was a male exotic dancer,” Bryn whispered to her sister as Corey half-carried her past the truck bed.

  “Stop it!” Sara hissed at her sister, jumping down from the truck tire. Darrin was hard at work, pulling the bike up off its side. His face was flushed, but Bryn wasn’t sure that it was from the exertion of lifting Corey’s heavy bike, or that he heard Bryn’s teasing.

  Sara was already at his side, grabbing the handlebars from Darrin, shooing his hands away. “I’ll steer, you push.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” Darrin gave Sara a mock salute, walking to the
back of the bike, pushing it forwards. Within seconds, they were strapping the bike down on the trailer.

  “Ready, baby girl?” Corey didn’t wait for her answer as he picked her up into his arms, carrying her the rest of the way to the car.

  “Yes, let’s get this over with.” Bryn was hanging her head in defeat. Not only was she resigned to the fact that she would be going to the hospital, but she had pissed her sister off now. They had a turbulent relationship to begin with, ever since Sara had come home from college a year ago. Their mother had been in an accident on the farm, and there was no way that Bryn could take care of all the animals on the farm on her own. Needing her help, she called Sara crying, begging her to come home. Bryn was extremely proud of her sister for getting away, and it broke her heart to all but force her kid sister to come home. Family meant something to the both of them, and she knew that she couldn’t do it alone.

  To her credit, Sara left all her dreams of getting out of Wisconsin and came home without a complaint. Bryn felt like a heel for teasing Sara about Darrin, especially when she knew how she felt about him, as shy as she was. It sometimes surprised Bryn how quiet and meek Sara was around men in general, when with everyone else, she seemed to be a spitfire. Even more shocking was that she had suggested to Darrin that she would make him lunch, but she had seemed braver around him lately. Even her actions today as they loaded the motorcycle seemed strange.

  “Hey, Sara,” Bryn yelled from the car as Corey was buckling her in.

  “Yes, pain in the ass?” Sara didn’t even look at her sister as she said it.

  “Come here, please.”

  Sara looked over at the car, cocked her head to the side, slumping her shoulders. “Yes, my liege.” Sarcasm dripped off her words.

  Corey had finished fussing over Bryn, and was heading to the other side of the car. “No fighting, you two. I mean it.” Glaring at Sara, Corey got into the driver’s seat. Sara leaned her head into the passenger side, waiting for Bryn to say something crappy to her.